It Hurts Us To Withhold Love


To love someone in fullness and truth is to express the most powerful part of our Infinite Self, without restriction or limitation. Love is our greatest strength and our most pure source, so operating from this deep part of our core allows us to open the floodgates of our own pure power. Unlike other kinds of force though, this power is perfect, and can only bring goodness to ourselves and to the world. Expressing our love to those around is releases an energy that nourishes ourselves in ways that only love can, and also allows us to pass on that nourishing flow to the other people that we get to share our lives with. To deny this flow of love is to hold back an essential source of energy. Without sharing our love we can’t regenerate love, and instead of replenishment and fueling, we immediately begin to tax our core systems of wellness and survival. When we hold our love back, we block the very flow we need to live.

It was my daughter’s nineteenth birthday yesterday, and I experienced this truth in more fullness than I ever have before. The relationships we share with our children is often the easiest situation to demonstrate this kind of unconditional love. We have a connection with them that was born even before they were. Whether you are a mother or a father, the relationship you have with your child started before they took their first breath. This is as true for biological parents as it is for adoptive parents. To choose to raise a child trough their life journey is a decision that starts first with love.

Our love was always purposed to flow freely

Our love was always purposed to flow freely

Connecting with your child in this journey of nurturing and equipping is an honour. To work towards that final day where you release this child into their own adult journey is to activate this endless source of love every day. This is not always easy. Let’s be honest, even the most angelic of children have an uncanny knack of being able to press just the right button at just the right time to make things challenging. We all have those human moments. But these moments are set within a wider landscape of relationship and connection. There is more to the love you have for your children than could possibly be measured in any given moment. The love you have for your child is a love that will last longer than your lifetime for theirs. This love is infinite.

Withholding Love Comes From Negative Mindsets

To withhold this sort of love is to allow hurts, fears and other items of baggage from our past to block our true, deep love. Yesterday I shared beach walks, hamburgers, and chocolate birthday cake with my girl. In this space, I realised that to not love her openly and freely would hurt me. To hold my love back would require me to operate from a mindset that wasn’t open, compassionate, nurturing, patient, understanding, optimistic. To not act lovingly towards her would mean that I was drawing from a source within myself that is corrupt and spoiled. This source is not life. This type of source is something that needs to be deconstructed and reconciled. We can’t allow its effects to diminish our greatest power and source of all freedom – LOVE.

Looking at this issue from this perspective made this issue of love simple for me. If this is the sort of love that I can extend to my children, there is nothing that should stop me from extending this same kind of love to those around me. The dynamics of other relationships are certainly different from the ones I share with my children, but the source from which I love them is not. The way I demonstrate my love will be vastly different depending on the circumstance and nature of the relationship I share with each person, but my source of regard for them will not.

For me to operate in the fullness of my power, pursuing my purpose with a passion that has no limits, I need to access a genuine care, an unconditional regard for others. From this perspective I consider theirs, and I take up courses of action that bring benefit to all of us sharing the journey together. I certainly love myself by continuing to nurture myself and my need for love, and this sometimes means taking care of the depth and the nature of the connection that I share with others, but in all things, my heart is to love others as I love myself. In truth, respect, compassion, optimism, and unconditional acceptance. Every person has infinite value, and every person is worthy of love. By showing this love to others, I allow it to flow freely through my entire being, nourishing myself with its cleansing, healing flow.

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