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A Message From Kerry

For the last couple of years I have been helping people to follow their passion by inspiring and motivating them with my talk and my social media posts, by coaching them, and by sharing my own unfolding story. It has been thoroughly enjoyable and I have been told frequently that I give people hope. This is an opportunity I will always be grateful for.

There has been a change coming though. Over the course of 2017, people have been indicating what they need to follow their passion by asking me this one question, again and again and again …

“How?”

“How do I follow my passion?”

I have come to realise that it’s one thing to KNOW your passion, but another thing entirely to know what you actually NEED TO DO to follow it and activate it in a transforming way, day to day. The penny dropped for me recently when I saw it clear as day. I know how I have followed my passion, and I can teach people how to follow theirs the same way.

I still help people to follow their passion, but now I teach them how I’ve done it myself. I create manuals for everything and then use these manuals to inform my daily activities. All of the steps in these manuals have managed my emails, my social media, my administrative work, accounting and superannuation, site management, event organisation, networking activities, speaking engagements, filing and data management, email campaigns, publishing my book, and all sorts of projects on the run. The steps in the manuals are turned into action by scheduling tasks in my calendar, setting reminders in my phone, and managing my work flow with project management software. The steps are customised. They are unique for what only I need in my business, and they document everything that I need to do to transform my personal passions into my actual dream life.

 

 

Kerry Anne Nelson Business Process Genius: "A Message From Kerry Blog" 0412 898 363

This year I have changed tack. Instead of simply telling people they can fly, now I show them how

These manuals also allow me to manage my team. Whether they are full time, part time, casual or volunteer support, each of them have their tasks clearly communicated in manuals just like these. It is the set and forget method that literally shoots me through my business growth journey faster than a speeding bullet. It is THE answer to the “How?” question that people keep asking me.

I am a born organiser with a highly strategic approach to bringing my passion to life. I have used these methods to do some amazing things … I still pinch myself some days when I stop to realise that it’s all true. Since May 2014 I have systemised my progress to:

  • manage all of the horrible jobs of my late husband’s passing
  • restructure the website business I used to share with him
  • establish pricing rules to increase the amount our clients spent on our website by 10%
  • rebuild warehouse processes of stock management, inventory control, order fulfilment, workflow
  • train new staff members from scratch in brand new business software and systems  
  • get that old business out of debt and sell it for a profit
  • establish myself as an inspiring speaker and social leader
  • write my book and publish it myself
  • open and manage an event venue called Our Place Melbourne in Camberwell
  • launch Melbourne Inner East Business in Heels branch  
  • launch several different programs and business building sessions
  • launch a business meetup group and attract strong support from members and sponsors alike
  • triple the connections across my social media networks in 6 months
  • create a full, comprehensive site management manual
  • train new on site staff and my remote assistant in different new systems, software and processes
  • mentor business clients through the creation of their own business building systems

I am a trained teacher with 8 years of classroom experience in primary, secondary, tertiary and special education settings. I have nearly 20 years of experience in business, having built businesses from scratch in service and retail industries across online settings as well as traditional bricks and mortar shopfronts. I love nothing more than to work alongside people to teach them how to empower themselves to build the structures they need for their own personal and professional growth.

Please message me today if you would like me to help you create a total business transformation. We are not talking about small tweaks or adjustments here. Together, we will conduct a complete overhaul. We will redefine how you do things to create entirely new routines, experiences and outcomes. When we do this, you will have choices that all stem from having more time. You might choose to add more team members, begin a new business project, or scale your business to new growth. You could choose to sell your business now, because you will have the support documents that you need to demonstrate its worth, and facilitate the handover to the new owners. You might simply choose to go home on time, reclaim your weekend, or even enjoy a long overdue holiday.  Your business will never be the same again.

Food for thought, right? What if it could be different? What if we could make it better, together? What if it worked? …

I know this works. It worked for me, and it will work for you.

Message me today to get started.

Cancelled

With half an hour to go before the scheduled Facebook live broadcast, I message my guest to say good morning and confirm that we are good to go at 8AM.

“I’m ready for you at 10,” he says.

I message back, my heart beating just a little bit faster, “um … no … you mean 8 right?”

“No,” he sends his reply message straight back. “I have 10 in my phone.”

Then he calls, and with 30 minutes until the broadcast he explains his father has fallen drastically ill and he had the wrong time scheduled.

Right now, he cannot make our 8 o’clock interview. He had to go to the hospital.

LIFE HAPPENS! WHAT CAN I SAY?

I’m sure I’m not the first mouse or man (or woman) whose best laid plans have gone awry. I had a plan, it was confirmed, and then it changed. It was completely understandable. A mistake mixed with a family crisis. But I was left with no-one to interview and a group that was waiting.

This interview program was only a few weeks old. I had started it simply to add value to the Facebook group I created earlier this year. The program was called #tuesdaytactics to go with Tuesday’s hashtag theme in our Facebook Group, Personal Development in Business. My intention with these sessions was to promote key members of my group through the weekly Live Interviews in Facebook, and showcase their professional knowledge and expertise for the rest of our members. Through this I had hoped to increase engagement in the group which would hopefully create greater member connection, and growth.

I always see a bigger picture…

In the grand scheme of things, the plan was to continue to invest into the growth of a strong healthy group. I wanted to give my community genuine reasons to participate, with offerings that allow them to enjoy huge value every time they check in with us. People who belong to a group like this are much more likely to come along to our monthly events, and they might even connect with me further when they are ready to develop new systems for their own business growth.

I am convinced you can give your way to business growth.

The success of any business activity is built on consistency. None of these outcomes could occur if I didn’t get an interview up today. Not only is it embarrassing to fail publicly, but worse … it reflects instability, uncertainty, and a lack of reliability. These are not the attributes of a successful business leader. For all of us, success relies on us being consistent and dependable for the people we serve. Like I always said to my children growing up:

NO, IT’S NOT YOUR FAULT, BUT IT IS YOUR RESPONSIBILITY

I am the Queen of the back against the wall moment. That rising surge of tenacity which never says die is a familiar friend of mine. When adverse changes happen, something raw (and almost primal) takes over. I refuse to accept that this undesirable outcome will be the end of the story. In business and in life

When changes happen, we must happen right back.

It would have been easy for me to pat myself on the back and tell myself I’d tried. I might have even thought I was a good person because I felt sorry for my guest whose dad was unwell. It’s amazing, the sorts of excuses we can hang our hat on. Yes, it was sad that he was sick, but that has nothing to do with the commitment I’d made. The best outcome could only occur if I saw it through. In one lightening fast moment I had gone from having a solid business building plan to facing failure, and I said NO!

I scrolled (like the Dead Sea but faster) through my Facebook friends list,   to find a new #tuesdaytactics Live Interview guest. My fingers were a blur across the keyboard as I typed fast. Copy message … Check the name is right. Read it back to make sure it suits the person. … and Send! Paste to a new friend. Paste again. Surely there would be someone online right now who would be up for a spontaneous promo interview?

Kerry Anne Nelson Melbourne based Speaker, Author, Business Process Genius

Business leaders you can depend on invest into business growth with a defining commitment to generously add value

TURN HALF AN HOUR OF HUSTLE INTO A WHIRLWIND OF SUCCESS

Not only did I find my dear, dear friend Andrea Dix to share her inspiring message from her new book Permission To Shine, but I also managed to book up five more Interviews that would see me through into next month. Andrea and I had a wonderful talk that morning and continued to chat for a while after the #tuesdaytactics Live Interview was done.

I could have seen this moment in many ways. It could have been the moment I took to console my friend whose dad was sick, and in that moment I would have felt lovely about myself and written his sadness into my own identity story. It could have been the moment I let slide because it was too late to do anything now and I could just pick it up next week. It could have been the moment that I walked away from the plan altogether. It had only been running for a few weeks, so there really wasn’t much to lose.

But I saw this moment as a defining one

I am the captain of my ship and the maker of my opportunities. In that moment, I rallied my resources of time, social connections and technology to create a new outcome from the one that my circumstance proposed.

HOW DO YOU USE WHAT YOU’VE GOT?

Tips for the Day:
  1. Build a strong community of support by always giving more than you get. You never know when you will need to cash in those credits.
  2. Stand strong and firm in leadership, in business, in relationship, in yourself
  3. Never give up. Never, never, never give up (Churchill was really onto something).

How To Invest Everything Always

It’s my birthday tomorrow. I’ll be turning 42. That means I have been alive for fifteen THOUSAND, three hundred and forty days so far. How many hours … ? That’s 368 160 hours …  and counting! I have seen the most amazing sights and experienced incredible moments. I have celebrated jubilant highs and faced gut-wrenching lows. In it all I have come to know that there is never one culminating moment that I will ever arrive, nor a catastrophic day that will see me come undone. I experience my life in all its fullness with every fleeting moment that we call NOW.

Our own unique identity is the pathway to connecting deeply with others in a way that doesn’t run out. (Photo: Bruno’s Garden Marysville VIC)

 

Now

The Now moment is spectacular. Each instant of our life is jam-packed full of exquisite human experience. We each perform actions that keep everything moving along, and each of our moments are held within our own experiential narrative. Everything that has happened up to this point has brought us to now, and it is from the narrative that we have already experienced that we move forward into the next part of the story that we construct for ourselves. Here, in Time itself, we access that pivotal moment which has the potential to change everything that has happened into something new.

Now I Am Myself

We have our own understandings of the world, which are nothing like any other person’s. They have a uniquely individual perspective that we will never be able to fully understand or see for ourselves. How very liberating to know that we are free to simply operate as our own independent souls, operating in powerful autonomy. We make choices to act or not to act, to speak or not to speak, to connect or not to connect. To love or to withhold that love. We reach out to others for relationship, and they may or may not respond. They too are operating from their own autonomy, making their choices in thoughts, words, actions and omissions every single day.

Now I Am Relationship

How glorious it is that from this position of individuality and independence we exist as social beings, connected to each other in a myriad of ways. It is truly marvellous that we can share a moment, a story, an aspiration, a dream. It is not a bad thing to embrace the full power of our own singularity. Indeed, it is wonderful, because it is from this knowledge of ourselves that we can extend to others in relationships that bring honour and respect to each person. When all is said and done, this is the only way we can really experience relationships at all. Both the relationship we have with ourselves, and the ones we have with those around us all hinge on our ability to offer ourselves as we really are.

Now I Define Myself

There are few things that are more destructive than to conceive yourself through the lens of another. Although my parents and others along the way had a significant influence on my development, I am not defined by who they think I am, or ought to be. Although my ideas about being a daughter, sister, mother, wife, and even widow have a powerful bearing on how I operate, these ideas do not define my person. They do not constitute my essence. Although the understandings and expectations of my children, family, friends, clients, and even my partner are important to consider when I make choices, how they see me, and how they see the relationship I share with them is not the absolute reality. Their views do not determine who I am in my own unique self.

Now You Define Yourself

This is not only true for me, of course. It is true for all of us, and it is especially true for you. It might seem painfully obvious here and now that you are your own unique person. In the safety of this Now moment, you can clearly see that you are you. You simply operate alongside others and you craft a life story as you go. But, in reality, these truths become easily blurred. It is oh so easy to forget that who we are does not have to yield to the desires of others. We do not have to meet their expectations or adjust our priorities and preferences to theirs. We can if we choose to, but we are not obliged or compelled.

No.

Who we are can stand tall in respectful confidence and powerful autonomy. In each Now moment, our bodies can work, play and move alongside others without yielding to their controlling agenda. Our minds can think, grow and learn in connection to others without relinquishing our intelligence or our insight. Our heart can invest into profoundly intimate relationships with others without yielding our identity. Our spirits can conceive and stretch out to the other souls around us in ways which preserve and defend our vulnerabilities and still keep us safe.

Oh that we would truly see our infinite power, right here and Now. Oh that we would know, in every Now moment of our lives, that it is only from this place that we can invest all that we are with all that we have.

 

Growing Pains

I am facing a struggle at the moment that I would like to get off my chest and be honest about. As many of you might already know, I have been making a concerted effort this year to take my message to more people than ever before. My heart literally cries out to help people to find and follow their passion. I have stepped out in a big, bold way to shine a light on the truths that I have come to know. And it is working. A LOT.
I am finding people … lots of people … and they are finding me …
Kerry Anne Nelson Melbourne Based Professional Speaker

It has always been my policy to bite off my than I can chew and then chew like hell. But THIS is a whole new level

Last year I spent a lot of time in solitude, writing, reflecting, connecting with the love that I have inside. From that season of profound growth I have developed the clarity, motivation and drive that comes from a sense of focus and purpose. Every time I write a Facebook post, or share a photo on Instagram, or write a blog or email, or send a new friend a personalised video … a little drop of my passion is shared out. I am convinced that the connections that I am making with so many people over these past few months have increased simply because I have decided to put it all out there. My heart is on my sleeve the way that a two year old would manage a cold. It is raw and honest and altogether real.
If you know me, you would know that I am the same at home as I am at work, and when I am out and about socialising. I am serious about my work but love to play and muck around too. I take my relationships very much to heart, and I live to make my world better in any way I can.
The challenge for me at the moment is in managing the influx of connections that I have inadvertently created by putting myself out there to this degree. With every new friend comes a new investment for me into that person. For each new friend, the same story is true … I remember your names, your stories, your businesses, your families. I take you all with me wherever I go.
It breaks my heart to miss your notifications, your messages, emails, texts, phone bank messages … but sometimes, I can’t quite get to it because they fill up faster than I can attend to them. Over the past two hours I have literally had over 100 notifications come through on Facebook alone, and I want to get to every single comment, every single like, every single contribution that you have. I want to engage and respond because I have invested in connecting with you.
I am literally sitting here with tears in my eyes because I am not sure what to do to make myself be able to keep up and continue to serve and connect with you. Each one of you is precious, and each response spurs me on … but I am human and I am only one. I will get better at this. I will find ways to get more help with my other work so that I can continue to connect with you. No matter what the nature of my relationship is with you, or the setting of our connection, I want to attend to us. I want to be present and connected and available for the brief time we get to spend on the same page. The thought of missing those moments is heart breaking to me. Those moments that I might hear you, understand you, inspire you, motivate you, or teach you  are everything I live for. Filling my life with those moments is the passion I follow.
So please, hang in there with me. I am learning. I am growing. And I am getting better at all of it

Facebook Official

On this day three years ago, I wrote this post in Facebook:

I’m ready. It’s time.
I have had an overwhelming rush of love and support from dear, dear friends and family, but for those who don’t know, and those who are waiting for my words, I have terrible news. On Wednesday morning my dearest husband Alec step in father of my children Zachery and Isabelle, best friend, love of my life, partner in everything, maker of the finest food and pourer of wine, provider of all good things in my life, sweetest lover, family festival coordinator, chief spoiling officer, master technician and fixer of all buttoned things, fanatical one-man cheer squad of mine, boundary pusher and pathological optimist, ambitious dream maker and sharer, king of emotional adjustment and accommodator of difference, agent of grounding and reality checker, table for two booker, couch companion, avoider of bathroom cleaning but still all round super hero passed away. There are no words which adequately describe this gutting sense of loss, this hideous darkness, this engulfing lonely hole, this terror, this exhaustion. I am devastated beyond expression. My life changed forever when he joined it, and now I face new changes on his departure. I have had a marriage experience many only dream of, built on pure, raw, honest tenacity to push through every valley and dance on every mountain simply because sharing it all together was our deepest passion and life anchoring commitment. His love for me was his defining attribute, unfailing and never ending. To say he will be missed is an absurd understatement, yet better words escape me. I join Zac in feeling lost, I have never been here before, and also join Isabelle in daring to believe “We can do it!”
Please pray for us. Your love and support is our strength for now, and will be a foundation we need to ground the insanity we face. And please remember us in the coming weeks and months as we embark on learning a new life we never dreamed we would have to learn. We are tearfully figuring out how to hold on and let go at the same time. Each moment brings a new wave to deal with
And most importantly, tell your loved ones just how much you love them every single day. You can never express too much love, in words and in actions, because I have been hit like a slap in the face, it’s true, you never know how long you really have. In a blink …
xxx

 

Melbourne based speaker

The view from our old home in Research as the sun set on the first day without Alec

This morning I read that post, and the tears trickled down my face as I relived those few days of shock.

This day three years ago really was a big one. I remember writing that post very clearly. Through copious tears and with my mind racing. It was bizarre to have “memories” of Alec flooding my mind, because he had only been there beside me three days prior. I had to remind myself that he wasn’t there any more. Repeatedly. I had to learn how to have a picture of myself and my life that didn’t have him in it.

I am comforted to this day by the knowledge that love never dies. On reading this now though, I remember the feeling of his absence. Foreign. Strange. Brutal. Aggressive. Terrifying.

I have never known a sadness that washed me so completely, or a grief like this that gutted me to my core. Oh my god it was horrible. Nauseating. Dizzying. Isolating. Deafening.

But as time has passed, I have taught myself a few new ways of seeing things. Some additional layers of perspective. Nothing will stop this loss from being so so sad and horrendously tragic, but there is more. Because I lived. I kept going. The next day, and the next and the next. New seasons. New chapters. I grew.

To have lived through such a shock is the proof I need now that I can make it through anything. I know I am not the only widow in the world, and that other people have gone through more tragic circumstances. But I am not them. Nor are they me. So I don’t compare. I am simply filled with wide eyed amazement and gratitude at the experiences I have had, lessons I have learned, and the way things have turned out.

My life still stuns me to this day. It is all just so completely mind blowing. It has changed me forever to learn that light can be found through darkness. Purpose can be found through loss. Love can be found through heartbreak. And passion can be found through adversity.

And now, today … we live. We love. We bring honour to the things we have learned

 

My Bracelet of Love

About ten years ago I bought my late husband Alec a sterling silver bracelet. I can’t remember if this gift was for his birthday or Christmas or some other special day, but I do know that I loved buying it for him. One of Alec’s strongest love languages was gift giving, which meant that he received and expressed love through the giving of quality, high value gifts. Alec loved fine things. To buy him a cheap item of jewellery or cologne or other gift would be appreciated, but not treasured. Buying him a bracelet that he wore with pride showed me that he truly loved it. I had spent as much money as I could on the bracelet. He realised that as soon as he opened it, and he savoured the gesture.

He wore the bracelet literally every single day. It didn’t matter what we were doing, or how messy it was, he never took the bracelet off. This meant that the bracelet hung from his wrist when we went to fancy restaurants, attended social events, when we did the groceries, or when we sat down to watch television at home in the evenings. It also meant that it stayed on even when he was repairing vacuum cleaners, or doing odd jobs around our house. It even meant that the bracelet was worn throughout the duration of our home renovation, where it dangled into paint pots, scraped through sanding machines, and slopped through tiling grout.

After a few years the bracelet was a mess. At first I had been so thrilled that Alec loved the gift so much that he never took it off, but as the bracelet became damaged I became annoyed that Alec wasn’t taking better care of it. I remember suggesting that he should remove it when he was doing rough work, but he insisted on wearing it. What could I do? I watched the bracelet being progressively ruined, and I tried to let it go. I reminded myself that I had given the gift to Alec so it did not belong to me. How he treated the bracelet, and the results of this treatment had nothing to do with me.

This was all well and good until the clasp on the bracelet became so stiff and warped that it no longer closed, meaning that Alec couldn’t wear it any more. He asked me to take the bracelet for repair. This made me really annoyed, because I had been working so hard to release the ownership of the bracelet to Alec, and to not be offended that he was slowly wrecking the gift that I had given him. I resisted taking the bracelet for months and months because of this offence, but finally I yielded. It was embarrassing to show up at the jewellery shop with a bracelet that looked more like a string of aluminium can ring tabs than the piece of fine jewellery that I had purchased only a few years ago. It was even more humiliating to have the perfectly presented woman behind the counter raise her eyebrows at me as she described the state of the bracelet to me. I blushed and didn’t know where to look or what to say. I knew better than anyone else that the scratches and chips and build up of grout in the joints of the bracelet were horrible.

As she mustered up her most patronising version of customer service, this glamorous woman told me that the bracelet was no longer worth the cost of the repairs it would take to restore it to a modest version of how it used to be. I nodded my understanding, thanked her for helping me, and bundled up the bracelet into the small yellow envelope that she gave me. I went home and to my great shame and regret now, I gave Alec a good old fashioned “I-told-you-so” speech. I did not hold back. I let him have all of my hurts and offences as I berated him about the lack of care he had taken with my gift.

My gift.

Yes … that’s right. I was hurt because over all of these years, that bracelet felt like something that was mine. I had a sense of ownership that I should never have had, and created an offence that I should never have experienced.

This offence went on literally for years. I knew Alec wanted me to replace the bracelet with another one, because he mentioned it before every Father’s Day, birthday, and Christmas. And every year the offence smouldered inside me, like an evil cauldron of boiling hot poison bubbling away the love of our marriage. Every year I saw that Alec wanted a new bracelet, and every year my heart responded with “Why should I? You wrecked the last one I gave you.”

This is a shameful blog to write, because you can see how truly horrible I was. The bad news is that if we let offence build up like this, each one of us run the risk of corrupting the love we have for those closest to us. My self-righteous hurt prevented my from loving Alec with openness and liberty. It stifled my love and implanted a spur of withholding into our most intimate connection.

But the good news is that there is another way. I held onto that hurt until I couldn’t bear it any longer. And then, one day, I tripped over that little yellow envelope as I was cleaning out my sock draw. By that time we had moved to Melbourne and we were both working together full-time to build our vacuum parts website. We had both grown so much over those years. Our life had changed dramatically, and our investment into our shared journey had never been deeper. That broken old bracelet inside that envelope didn’t fit the picture of our life or our love any more. I decided to make things right.

Professional Melbourne Speaker

When we hold on to offences we mar the capacity of our Infinite Self to give and receive love without limits

That Christmas I bought Alec a 9 carat gold version of that same bracelet. His face beamed as he opened the green velvet box and then he looked at me with eyes of love. With great relief I was able to say sorry that I hadn’t bought it sooner. He put it on straight away, and I was thrilled, but this time, my heart was filled with happiness for him only. That night, we had a massive discussion about the bracelet which redeemed me from the years that had been marred by my selfish resentment.

Alec wore the bracelet most of the time, but I noticed that it came off when he was doing messy jobs. I was grateful, but in my heart I had changed. I wasn’t holding on to this bracelet like I did the last one. This bracelet was truly Alec’s. I had given it freely, which released me to loving him freely. There were no bumpy, glitchy bits of selfishness that had previously corrupted my ability to give and receive love.

That Christmas was in 2014, and only five short months later, I came home to find Alec dead in our kitchen. I cannot emphasise strongly enough how grateful I am at the fortuitous timing of repairing this part of our relationship. Of course, the reality is that if I hadn’t changed my attitude and worked through this offence I would have carried it around unresolved for the rest of my life. Now, I wear this bracelet every day, to remind me to never withhold love. This bracelet is a tribute to the infinite capacity that we all have for love, when we step outside of our pride and freely open the doors of our heart.

What If … ?

What if I can’t … ?

What if they don’t … ?

What if they won’t … ?

What if it doesn’t work … ?

Life is full of crossroad moments. We make decisions every day about the direction of our lives, but some of these choices are more significant than others. Every time we face an important choice or a change we are instantly confronted with questions and cautions. Making the right decision is always a priority, but sometimes we put a lot of pressure on trying to guarantee success. Often, our ability to choose the best pathway will give us rewards in our health, finances, relationships, business, family, career, schedule and lifestyle. These choices matter.

Over the past few years I have encountered change after change after change. Each of these moments have brought me to the point where I simply had to respond. When my husband died, I had to make choices about his funeral, our business, his personal items, where I lived. In some of these areas, I struggled to make any choice at all. Admitting that this monumental change had happened, and then responding to it positively was gut-wrenching. Alec’s coffee mug sat right alongside his other desk items for weeks, completely untouched. It was only the developing mould that finally pushed me to make the choice to remove it.

Resisting Change

It is completely understandable that when life throws an unexpected spanner in the works, we struggle to make choices. We are human. We are sensitive, vulnerable and delicate. We look for ways to avoid hurt, loss, and uncertainty. We are drawn to the familiar and to the path of least resistance. Our brain directs us to do whatever we can to maintain safety, security and comfort. All of us have an involuntary, instinctive drive towards self-preservation. This motivation is meant to keep us safe and sound. It maintains the status quo, and steadies us in places we already know and understand.

From the ease of the familiar, change is not desirable. In fact, when our agenda is to continue safely as we always have, change is the enemy. When unexpected change comes at us out of the blue, it rocks our world so hard that we think we might be buried under the rubble of the earthquake. We seriously doubt we will make it.

This dreadful feeling of overwhelm is a crisis is absolutely horrible, but what about when we meet an opportunity to CREATE changes? After the crisis has hit, we are presented with the need to refocus, redefine, redirect, rebuild. How things go now is completely up to us. This is really tough going. Our brain is naturally resistant to change, so it’s common for us to approach these times wishing that everything would just return to the way it was. But this vain hope is not reality, and if we continue to cling to it, we face the very real threat of going under.

There Is Loss

Yes, there is a time for sadness, grieving, loss, devastation, mourning, licking our wounds. It is vital that we invest into letting the full impact of the loss really hit us. Whether you have lost a partner like me, or a child or other loved one, or even if you have watched a relationship fall apart, or a business fold, these changes pack a powerful punch to our emotions. The loss hurts. Deeply. Feeling that pain is central to our ability to move through it.

And There Is More

But I know from experience that there is more. Even when the pain is still throbbing, the tears are still flowing, and our heart is still racing in terror, there is more contained in this season. Your future hangs right there in the balance of your choices. In this season you are the only one with the power to make the decisions that will change your outcome. Even at this moment in time, you can embrace change. You can harness the opportunity amidst the crisis.

Hope lives while we still have breath in our lungs

Dec 17 2014. The day I moved out of our warehouse: I had a lonely sense of hoping against hope that my plans would work. I was exhausted and terrified … but I persisted … “What if I could make it?”

From where you’re sitting now, this might seem absurd. This response goes against your instinctive reaction to protect, defend, hide, retreat. To imagine that you are powerful at this time, and that there are opportunities hidden amidst the loss almost seems irreverent, cold, heartless. This mindset presses all of the buttons of our doubt, fear and discomfort. We look for a way out. We shrink back behind guilt, and retreat to the position of victim. We throw our hands up in the air and we call it quits. We ask all of the “What If … ?” questions at the top of this blog. We concede defeat and, we dress up our surrender for a worthy parade. In the honourable name of ‘mourning’, we settle for our miserable outcome.

I know how you feel. To this day I still pinch myself that I was able to clean out Alec’s wardrobe, move away from the home that we had built together, sell the business that he loved. Yes, I faced pangs of guilt and shame and sheer disbelief at the steps that I took. Honestly, I still do at times. It does seem crude and confronting that life would go on.

But it does. And for two minutes here, I hope we can all come to an acceptance of the fact that when life thrusts you into disaster, it hurts. And when it hurts we find it harder to stand up and make choices in our lives. And we ask ourselves questions to justify that hardship. Those questions highlight the risk of failure, the potential for loss, the uncertainty of the outcome. And we use the answers to justify our retreat. Despondence. Disillusionment. Disengagement.

But we are still alive. We are the survivors of the depression, the bankruptcy, the breakup, the death of our loved one. Our heart still beats out a rhythm and our breath still whispers life. It is lovely, precious and endearing that we want to protect ourselves from additional pain. But this is not always beneficial, and it certainly doesn’t allow us to build pathways towards growth and freedom when we need to recover what we can from a devastating crisis.

So, instead of asking “What If … ?” questions that enliven fear, let’s start asking the questions that enliven faith. “What if …” we could ask questions that shine a spotlight on opportunity? We could make this entire situation into something new. We could bring honour to the season of loss. We could show ourselves and others that all is not lost. People are kind, the world is good, and life is worth living. We could dare to search for something good amidst the bad, and we could actually find it!

What if I tried?

What if I could?

What if it worked?

What if I don’t?

Follow Your Passion

Like so many lessons in life, learning about our passion sends us back to nature. All living things must have the ability to reproduce because this is how life continues. Living things can only be produced by other living things of the same kind, so every single living organism owes its existence to the reproductive activities of the generation that came before it. The reality is, all living things will eventually die. Processes of reproduction are not essential to the survival of that one organism, but they are essential for the continuation of the species as a whole. Ultimately, the ability of any living thing to continue the legacy of life itself is valuable not to its own generation, but for the generations of that species that are still to come.

Humans Are Alive To Create A Lasting Difference

Whether it is in training your team, building your business, raising your kids, contributing to your community, or creating something new for the rest of us, we all have the capacity to build a legacy that lives on to serve the generations that come after us. This is why we are alive: to create an effect that ripples out beyond ourselves. The creation of a legacy is something all of us could achieve, yet so many of us don’t know where to start, or how to continue. If we are to live a life of unstoppable freedom, the pursuit of our legacy is our greatest calling. Our Infinite Self is made full only in service of those around us, through the establishment of a legacy that allows our effects in the world to outlast our physical bodies. It is in the fulfilment of this pursuit that we ignite our deepest passions. To work on building our legacy is to establish a sense of mission that simply can’t be stopped.

Melbourne Public Speaker

Passion drives us through dark days

Sometimes, The Only Way Out Is Through

We have all faced periods of our lives that require us to put our head down and bum up to simply make it to the end. I’m sure that all of us can look back and see times where the only way out of a tough situation was straight through the middle of it. Living day to day and week to week is necessary to survive the tough seasons of our lives. I certainly would not want to minimise or downplay the importance of these times. But this way of life does not reflect our capacity for freedom. It is certainly not the way we sustain a life of limitless passion. There is nothing more frustrating or depressing than to pour your heart and soul into your efforts only to have the effects of your work dissolve away with the passing of time. Knowing that your blood sweat and tears will amount to little more than an expensive cycle of earn, spend, earn, spend, earn, spend is … well … it’s mind numbing, deflating, demoralising.  The problem with this lifestyle is that it leaves us worrying, “I make no difference.” We know we want more lasting fulfilment.

We completely realise the Passion of our Infinite Self by building a legacy of Outward service to others in the world around us.

Passion Shines Through The Toughest Days

When I lost my husband Alec in May 2014 I was quickly caught up in a sense of mission that cut through the darkness of my grief like a hot knife through butter. Now, this grief was unlike anything I had ever experienced before, and I hope I never feel that horrible gutting loss ever again … to this day I live daily in the hope that I outlive my children. But even amidst the tears, the numbness, the loss of appetite, butterflies that took over my entire body, and cloudiness that pushed the world into a hazy, muffled corner of my outlook … even amidst the grief, I found my passion. It was born straight out of my purpose, and it made everything make sense.

I found it by looking into myself. I had to look to see what was left, even when I felt like I had lost everything. It was scary, but I did it. And I found that I still had a deep investment into things that had always been important to me … education, business, empowerment, reflections, writing, sharing, relationships, people. And from these innate strengths, and these attributes and priorities that were still alive even after my husband had died, I found my purpose which instantly set me ablaze with passion. It was truly surreal. But it happened.

Investing In Our Purpose Inspires Unstoppable Passion

The dedication that I have to my purpose ignites a passion in me that is unstoppable. I am convinced that the greatest heights of my passion are reached when I serve others with my skills, strengths and resources. For me, my service is to support other people towards growth. I love nothing more than to participate in another person’s journey, equipping and inspiring them along the way. Whether I am parenting my kids, teaching in the classroom, presenting a seminar or talk, or working with my clients, there is nothing better than joining in with someone who suddenly gets a spark of insight that changes their lives forever. I am hooked on that Aha! Moment. You know, the instant where the light bulb switches on? When new knowledge is constructed and it can only transform. I am all about helping people achieve their own freedom.

I am not alone in having desire to build a legacy. We all need this. Your legacy may not be global, it may not be public, and it may not be world-changing. The legacy in your heart may not even seem achievable right now. But if you step up to the plate of the mission that is calling you, I am convinced that this investment will ignite a passion in your heart that will never be quenched. Your legacy could exist in a product you develop, the teaching you pass on to your students, the inheritance you leave to your children, the love that you ground your family in. It could be expressed through art, music, fitness, business, dog walking, social work, design, real estate investment, beauty therapy … the list is endless for everyone. But for you, there is one thing. One thing burning in your heart. This is your gift to the world. This is the purpose that will set your passion ablaze and see you through your hardest days. It is the thing that you can’t help but pursue. Our Infinite Self is perpetually replenished by serving others in ways that suit our innate skills, strengths and attributes.

We Make Our Own Inheritance

I believe that unpredictable adversity is one of the only things we can count on in life. Even though we can never know how or when the next trial will come, we can be assured that it will. Instead of avoiding unexpected hardships I value them in all their forms, because they offer unique opportunities for refinement. Our journey is the inheritance we give ourselves.

The finance side of things is something that I rarely speak about. With my working class background, and the divisive nature of the money topic, I tend to steer well clear of these conversations. But recently, someone asked me about how I recovered the business I shared with Alec. In sharing with them I realised just how powerful the story is to illustrate what I have learned about driving all of my resources towards the fulfilment of my passion.
Melbourne Based Professional Speaker

The passion we have for our vision is our greatest asset.

I knew within a day of losing Alec that I would write a book and develop an inspiring message to help people transform changes that leave them gutted. My brand new vision was born fast, and it grew in clarity over the first few months. My passion for this vision was my greatest asset.

When Alec died, he left me in lots of debt. It was so big that he had not been able to clear it for over a decade. For years every overdue account simply rolled into the next, multiplying and gaining momentum as they went, like a gigantic green snowball. It was the story of our lives and it was awful. For years I was unaware of the depths of the dark whole we were in, but in working more closely with Alec since 2013, I came to know exactly how much we owed. I kept the records in my handwritten diary which functioned as my day-to-day budget book. On May 30, 2014, two days after Alec died, I owed $49,474.99 to suppliers and contractors. This was equal to about six week’s worth of supplier invoices.
Picture the proverbial deer in headlights. It was change fast or go bankrupt. I had to accept being widowed, but I refused bankruptcy with everything in me. Luxuries like take away food, clothing, and entertainment were instantly out of the question. I cut my grocery bill back to less than half of what I used to spend. I barely ate for the first few months, and I only wanted simple foods anyway. This was not a hardship for me. I was in mourning and living in shock, and then its afterglow, for months. I didn’t want to feel good.
The problem was in our business accounts, not our personal funds, although if you have ever been in a small business you know that the two go hand in hand. We were certainly not flush with personal cash, but the financial suffocation was coming from overdue work invoices that couldn’t be paid. I got to work immediately. My warehouse power bill was reduced immediately, because I didn’t use the heater once that winter. The money I spent stock was slashed dramatically, because I ran most product lines down to zero. The only exception to this was in our top ten sellers, which I continued to buy in larger quantities to obtain bulk-buy discounts. Even these orders though were for the smallest quantities offered by my suppliers. I simply couldn’t bear to buy stock I wasn’t actually selling.
This resulted in delays with filling customer orders. After a few months, about 85% of our paid orders went onto back order while we waited for stock to come. This brought its own stresses of customer complaints and challenges with managing the receipt of stock and dispatch of orders, but there was no other way if I was going to redirect the cashflow. Receiving supplier deliveries often turned into a dispatch bonanza, where the stock that came in never even touched our warehouse shelves.
I also decided to stop offering international shipping, which reduced my account fees with Australia Post. While this was a choice that saved me some money, this was more about saving time, and ending the headaches that come with trying to serve customers overseas. Supplying orders that were often lost or held up in customs was absurd.
I needed to pay wages of course, but this expense fluctuated as my staffing shifted. My English-born warehouse assistant left about six weeks after Alec passed away because his work Visa expired. My warehouse manager had been Alec’s best friend for about twenty years and he was gutted by the loss. He had an overseas holiday book and paid for in June, so after a couple of weeks without Alec, he took that five week trip. The man who came back from that holiday was empty and in deep despair. It was only a few months later that he too left to embark on the next part of his own journey. The cash I saved on wages was by necessity only. I would have gladly paid staff to help.

In all of it, I worked damned hard to hold things together, because my vision was greater than my circumstance. I worked at least eighty hours every week, encouraging myself daily with the belief that persistence always equals progress. Above all else, I learned to live in the moment. I pursued my vision by fanning the flame of my passion. I reminded myself constantly that there is no one day that I ever arrive, nor any day that I come completely undone. I persisted and I restructured, and on December 1, 2015, I sold the business that I had made into my own inheritance.

Since then, I have used the profit from the business sale to get started in my new business as a speaker, author and coach. I love the synchronicity of this investment. The hardest work I have ever done launched me into the life of my dreams. I made my own inheritance.

Love Letter

I went for a walk today. It was the first walk I have had in a while. Life is busy. I work long and hard through days that sometimes feel like they are getting shorter. I love it all though because I am passionate about my work. I am fuelled by a sense of mission which drives everything I do, and everything I have, towards the fulfilment of my purpose. I do get tired, I admit … but I never grow weary of this mission. It is an honour and privilege that I appreciate every single day. What I do is directly connected to my Infinite Self.

Now I am home from my walk, and I have pulled my laptop out. I am sitting on the small balcony that connects my bedroom to the view of my little street. It is not glamorous, but it does make me feel special. It is a private little space that I use to press the pause button on my life. From my spot here I reflect on life. I think about me, and I think about you too. Right now, I am bursting! For the past hour and a half I have been consumed by thoughts that were ready to explode out of me … here is what I am compelled to share with you today:

You are spectacular. There is no-one like you in the entire world. No-one has ever been like you, nor will there ever be. No one could take your place. You are the only one of your kind. You are more precious than rare. You are a one-off. A singular, never-to-be-seen-again treasure. You are perfectly unique and especially distinctive.

Kerry Anne Nelson Professional Speaker

Your beauty cannot be equalled or surpassed. It is beyond compare.

You are priceless.

You are worthy.

You are enough.

You are everything.

 

You have a heart of gold that is made full as it flows in love to your people. You have a unique compassion, a sharp insight, a profound understanding, an endless investment. You care deeply about those around you, giving selflessly and without question to meet the needs of those you love. You are a bastion of love, a defender of justice, an advocate for those who can’t defend themselves. You have so much to offer. Safety. Acceptance. Warmth. Strength. Hope. Empathy. Encouragement. Support. Courage. Momentum. Promise.

The gifts that you have for the world will leave a lasting impact, and you are the only one who can bring them. Only you can walk the steps of your journey, combining moments of opportunity with your inimitable offering to enhance your world. You make everything better simply by doing your part. You make the most of every opportunity that comes your way, because you exist to make a difference.

Sometimes your involvement feels small, and it seems to dissolve away quickly. Other times the ripples of your influence spread far and wide, creating changes that last. In it all, you have an effect on the world that can only be made by you. Only you are able to steer your course. You make decisions, connect people, resist wrongs, keep trying, win battles, maximise opportunities. In your powerful autonomy you do the big things and the little things that only you can do. 

Champion the cause of the incredible human being you see in the mirror. Care for them with fondness, compassion, grace. Nurture them with tenderness, optimism, hope. Protect them with strength, pride, importance. Nourish them with rest, health, well-being. Expand them with learning, risks, action. That person in the mirror is your greatest asset, your most valuable prize, your most precious resource. They are the victor of your battle and the hero of your story. They make it all happen. They make it all worth it.

And now, I would love you and I to make ourselves a cup of tea. Let’s just linger here and inhale the significance of the moment we have just shared, together …