Follow Your Passion


Like so many lessons in life, learning about our passion sends us back to nature. All living things must have the ability to reproduce because this is how life continues. Living things can only be produced by other living things of the same kind, so every single living organism owes its existence to the reproductive activities of the generation that came before it. The reality is, all living things will eventually die. Processes of reproduction are not essential to the survival of that one organism, but they are essential for the continuation of the species as a whole. Ultimately, the ability of any living thing to continue the legacy of life itself is valuable not to its own generation, but for the generations of that species that are still to come.

Humans Are Alive To Create A Lasting Difference

Whether it is in training your team, building your business, raising your kids, contributing to your community, or creating something new for the rest of us, we all have the capacity to build a legacy that lives on to serve the generations that come after us. This is why we are alive: to create an effect that ripples out beyond ourselves. The creation of a legacy is something all of us could achieve, yet so many of us don’t know where to start, or how to continue. If we are to live a life of unstoppable freedom, the pursuit of our legacy is our greatest calling. Our Infinite Self is made full only in service of those around us, through the establishment of a legacy that allows our effects in the world to outlast our physical bodies. It is in the fulfilment of this pursuit that we ignite our deepest passions. To work on building our legacy is to establish a sense of mission that simply can’t be stopped.

Melbourne Public Speaker

Passion drives us through dark days

Sometimes, The Only Way Out Is Through

We have all faced periods of our lives that require us to put our head down and bum up to simply make it to the end. I’m sure that all of us can look back and see times where the only way out of a tough situation was straight through the middle of it. Living day to day and week to week is necessary to survive the tough seasons of our lives. I certainly would not want to minimise or downplay the importance of these times. But this way of life does not reflect our capacity for freedom. It is certainly not the way we sustain a life of limitless passion. There is nothing more frustrating or depressing than to pour your heart and soul into your efforts only to have the effects of your work dissolve away with the passing of time. Knowing that your blood sweat and tears will amount to little more than an expensive cycle of earn, spend, earn, spend, earn, spend is … well … it’s mind numbing, deflating, demoralising.  The problem with this lifestyle is that it leaves us worrying, “I make no difference.” We know we want more lasting fulfilment.

We completely realise the Passion of our Infinite Self by building a legacy of Outward service to others in the world around us.

Passion Shines Through The Toughest Days

When I lost my husband Alec in May 2014 I was quickly caught up in a sense of mission that cut through the darkness of my grief like a hot knife through butter. Now, this grief was unlike anything I had ever experienced before, and I hope I never feel that horrible gutting loss ever again … to this day I live daily in the hope that I outlive my children. But even amidst the tears, the numbness, the loss of appetite, butterflies that took over my entire body, and cloudiness that pushed the world into a hazy, muffled corner of my outlook … even amidst the grief, I found my passion. It was born straight out of my purpose, and it made everything make sense.

I found it by looking into myself. I had to look to see what was left, even when I felt like I had lost everything. It was scary, but I did it. And I found that I still had a deep investment into things that had always been important to me … education, business, empowerment, reflections, writing, sharing, relationships, people. And from these innate strengths, and these attributes and priorities that were still alive even after my husband had died, I found my purpose which instantly set me ablaze with passion. It was truly surreal. But it happened.

Investing In Our Purpose Inspires Unstoppable Passion

The dedication that I have to my purpose ignites a passion in me that is unstoppable. I am convinced that the greatest heights of my passion are reached when I serve others with my skills, strengths and resources. For me, my service is to support other people towards growth. I love nothing more than to participate in another person’s journey, equipping and inspiring them along the way. Whether I am parenting my kids, teaching in the classroom, presenting a seminar or talk, or working with my clients, there is nothing better than joining in with someone who suddenly gets a spark of insight that changes their lives forever. I am hooked on that Aha! Moment. You know, the instant where the light bulb switches on? When new knowledge is constructed and it can only transform. I am all about helping people achieve their own freedom.

I am not alone in having desire to build a legacy. We all need this. Your legacy may not be global, it may not be public, and it may not be world-changing. The legacy in your heart may not even seem achievable right now. But if you step up to the plate of the mission that is calling you, I am convinced that this investment will ignite a passion in your heart that will never be quenched. Your legacy could exist in a product you develop, the teaching you pass on to your students, the inheritance you leave to your children, the love that you ground your family in. It could be expressed through art, music, fitness, business, dog walking, social work, design, real estate investment, beauty therapy … the list is endless for everyone. But for you, there is one thing. One thing burning in your heart. This is your gift to the world. This is the purpose that will set your passion ablaze and see you through your hardest days. It is the thing that you can’t help but pursue. Our Infinite Self is perpetually replenished by serving others in ways that suit our innate skills, strengths and attributes.

Pursue Your Purpose


As living beings we have certain characteristics in common with other living things. These separate us from non-living things. Considering the attributes that make us Alive can help us to understand the nature of our existence, and as we pull that apart, we will uncover qualities that lend themselves towards a new way of living.  This new way of living is more free than any other because it comes naturally to us. Living without limits can be as intuitive to us as breathing itself.

Like all living things, we as humans need to grow if we are to continue to be alive. Growth is the permanent, irreversible increase in size and mass of the living organism. It occurs in every living thing. Most living plants continue to increase in size throughout their lifespan, while animals usually grow to maturity and then maintain a constant size. All of the living processes of a single celled organism take place within that one cell, so growth for this form of life simply means the cell gets bigger.

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Our purpose expands our capacity and highlights the way forward

Our Purpose Promotes Growth

In our Infinite Selves growth occurs best when we are in  pursuit of our purpose. To live a life of purpose and conviction is to enjoy a sense of significant, intentional expansion in our day to day lives. With purpose comes the cause that sets our heart on fire and enlarges our capacity. We rise every morning with our eyes firmly set on our grand plan, having a sense of urgency and priority about what we do with our lives. This feeling comes from deep within us, because it originates in the core of our person. It is the drive of our Infinite Self. Knowing that our days will contribute to something of consequence brings us to a place of honour every day. We walk through every season with our shoulders back and our head held high. Who we are is realised in our purpose. This objective not only defines our reason for living, but it defines our very essence. It is in our purpose that we grow into the fullness of our Infinite Self.

Without this sense of purpose we cannot be fully, vibrantly alive. We find it all too easy to crumple like an old aluminium can. As soon as the pressure comes, we have no strength to withstand its destructive effects. When we haven’t decided and committed to our reason for living, we have very little to bring when the going gets tough. It is in these times that we see ourselves compromising on things that we thought were important. We sell out like a wilting flower. We cannot grow because we make no stand, and our living slowly stops.

Without Purpose Life Is Sluggish And Listless

 In these times, we face serious problems of being ineffective and unproductive. We can be working our fingers to the bone, but in the absence of a purposeful aim for our efforts, we risk burning out from the sheer exhaustion that comes from endless striving.  A lack of purpose can look and feel like a lack of power in our lives. It certainly feels like there is no point to doing anything much at all. It is so incredibly frustrating to know that we have a yearning for something worth fighting for. Without this conviction, we become disillusioned and disengaged from living itself.

When this happens, we end up missing out on a fulfilling, custom-made intention that pulls us through listless disillusionment into driving conviction. Our purpose gives us the strong foundation we need to face challenges with tenacity and setbacks with resolve that we will make it through. We have to. Our purpose depends on it. Our lives depend on it.

Purpose Draws Us Through The Crisis

It might seem strange or even morbid to you, but it was my own personal sense of purpose that pulled me through the days, weeks and months after my husband Alec died. It was on the day after I lost him unexpectedly that I sat at my dining table, reading over the reflective notes I had been keeping in my phone for the past few years. I knew instantly that these notes would become my book, and that I would direct everything I had towards building a professional speaking and coaching career. I wanted nothing more than to invest my natural strengths and all of my resources towards the fulfilment of this plan. This specific plan was new, and was conceived that day from the midst of my life-changing circumstances. But the plan came from the purpose that had been with me for as long as I can remember. My mission in life has always been to help people empower themselves to fulfil their greatest potential. In more recent times I have crafted this purpose statement:

The purpose of my life is to enjoy the ongoing rewards of living and loving without limits, to confidently thrive in growth through change, to feel the freedom that comes from personal empowerment, and to help others do the same.

This purpose continues to fuel my efforts at work, home and play every single day.

More often than not, our truest self takes some time to come into its own. Engaging with the journey of possessing the growth available to us in any and every situation. This is vital if we are going to grow to realise our greater Purpose. To clarify your purpose, ask yourself these questions:

  • What are my unique strengths and skills?
  • What do I want?
  • What are my lofty goals and crazy ambitions?  
  • What do I want to be known for?
  • What do I want my legacy to be?  
  • What makes me happy?  
  • What are my deal breakers of happiness, the things i simply can’t be happy without?
  • What leaves a glistening residue of fulfillment that lights me up ages after the moment has passed?
  • What am I really good at?  
  • What can I do that leaves a lasting impact on the world?

When we hear the whisper of our purpose in our hearts, it is like music to our ears. To come through the journey of connecting deeply with ourselves, then sharing this rich, deep person with the world, we come to realise that we have a strength that comes from somewhere infinite within us. This gives rise to a sense of power and opens opportunities for rewards we can create and gather to ourselves. This in turn gives us a sense of our unique purpose. This purpose is the thing that only we can offer the world. We comprehend the defining Purpose of our Infinite Self by expanding our awareness of our original, one-of-a-kind inner person. Our Infinite Self thrives when we realise that we exist to pursue a cause that burns bright. When we watch ourselves acting in the power of our Infinite Self in the world, we begin to realise that we each have a unique reason for living that suits us down to the ground.

Knowing these three things about growth will help us press on in pursuit of our purpose.

  1. GROWTH IS CONTINUOUS: On the day we stop growing, we stop living. This growth can be in baby steps, or in leaps and bounds, but without it, we cannot continue. Every day offers us opportunity to grow. Some days our growth is in our character, while others the growth is in our strength, our relationships, our finances, our spirit, our connection with ourselves. There is never a day that comes that is without these chances to grow. Every day we can enlarge the capacity of our Infinite Self.
  2. GROWTH IS DRIVEN BY PURPOSE: Just like plants grow towards the sun, and send their roots deep down into the soil in search of water, your growth will be drawn towards your own unique purpose. This purpose is unlike any other person’s, because you are your own spectacular person. To maximise opportunities for growth everyday is to come to know your superpower. Find the work that energises you and invest in it with everything you have.
  3. GROWTH ALWAYS WANTS MORE: Growth is hungry. It is driving, and it is relentless. It never stops. It is insatiable. Your Infinite Self has an urgent need for growth. This growth doesn’t need to look like gigantic strides, but it simply can’t look like standing still. Pursuing your purpose, even in tiny incremental steps will refresh your Infinite Self like nothing else can. It will be the invigoration you have needed all along.

Living a life of growth in our purpose requires a life-changing commitment. Pledge today to live a life driven by purpose:

I will live a life of Conviction, dedicated to the ongoing task of unearthing my Infinite Self. I will refuse to accept anything in life which allows jaded disillusionment to dim my unique shine. I will give ourselves to the passions of my heart, directing them towards my purpose and guarding them with my integrity. Compromise is out of the question for me. I will rise with determination to the call of my Infinite Self.



Each year I choose a word that will help me maintain my focus and direction for the entire year. Last year my word was Charge. This worked really well for that season. In December 2015 I sold the business I had previously shared with my late husband. This meant that hitting the ground running in 2016 was vital if I was to build momentum for my new thing. Under the motivating banner of the word Charge, I have worked relentlessly throughout 2016. I have completed my year of professional speaker training, published my first book, had this website built and continued to populate it with loads of content, launched my iTunes podcast called The Happy Widow, taken on my first handful of coaching clients, and presented at even more speaking engagements. I have also started the endless journey of building my social media profiles, and I am amazed at how many new friends I have made throughout the year in those spaces. The internet is the city that never sleeps.

All of this has been wonderful, and I am thoroughly proud of myself. But if you look back through that introductory paragraph, you will see that I worked relentlessly, but not tirelessly. To be completely honest, by December last year, I felt like that last leg was only possible if I was willing to crawl over the line. Launching myself into my new work in 2016 was important for me for a lot of personal, professional, and financial reasons. Even now as I reflect on how I approached last year I can’t see how I could or even would have done things differently. But boy oh boy, I really couldn’t repeat that massive effort.

I see very little point in regret, even if I have made a terrible blunder. Regret steals our confidence, undermines our ability to learn, and prevents us from loving ourselves as we really are. I don’t need to feel the self-loathing emotion of regret to be genuinely sorry if I have made an error. I can choose to change my pathway without getting too hung up over the steps I have previously taken. At best, regret is a waste of energy and headspace, but at worst it is destructive and turns our opportunities for growth as humans into a disastrous trap.

I certainly feel no regret about how I invested my time and energy last year. I am a big believer in the positive effects of a burst of energy and surge of investment. But I know without a doubt that this effort was unsustainable. By the end of the year I worked hard to finish what I started with all sorts of projects. I nearly got there. There are still jobs hanging around that didn’t get done, but I know that I need to change tack if I am going to continue to catch the winds of freedom in my sails.

Melbourne Professional Speaker

Each year I save my word for the year as the home screen on my phone

This year, my word is Balance. If I have learned anything from last year it is to prioritise a wholistic approach. Things can’t remain strong if they are built in a lopsided way. If you’ve ever played Jenga or even pick up sticks you’ll know that when the pieces aren’t supported, they will tumble down. To be unstoppably free from the risk of this collapse, we simply must take a broader approach. We must harmonise all of the needs in our lives, and focus on tending to all of them with diligent consistency, calm confidence, and gentle nurturing. For us to maintain growth in all of the areas of our lives, we must attend to that growth. Make it our focus. Invest in it.

I had a thought about balance last year that has stuck with me. I have a mild scoliosis in my back which throws the mechanics of my body out. When I walk, run, sit, lay down, stand up, my body does things in an ever so slightly twisted way. It was barely noticeable when I was younger, but at 41, my body speaks more freely to me now and lets me know what it needs. Years of operating this crooked body and compensating for the curve in my spine have seen some muscles become super strong while others have been left quite weak. I didn’t notice this until my physio had my doing single leg squats, hops, arm raises and hamstring curls. I was stunned.

I teetered and trembled my way through half of the physio’s tasks. I struggled to stay upright and a few times I toppled and stumbled my way back to standing straight and tall. My right leg wasn’t pulling its weight, and neither was my right shoulder. They made my body crumple like an aluminium can. It seems that my left side has been doing all of the heavy lifting over the years, with the right side taking a free ride. The work of keeping me up and running has largely been done by only one side of my body. To ignore this problem would be to invite injury and pain which will only worsen over the years to come. This is not desirable for anyone, but as an active, highly motivated person, this simply will not do.

My body had no regard for my intentions or my efforts. It could only perform to its capability at that moment. Years of avoiding the use of the weaker side, and unthinkingly finding ways around the scoliosis had created a type of atrophy. It had left me weak in the areas I hadn’t used or attended to. It thrown me out of balance, and left me vulnerable to falling down. Are you getting the picture here? Can you see areas of your life that may have been left unattended just a little to long?

As I say goodbye to 2016 and throw my arms open wide to the year ahead, I will apply what I have learned. This experience paints the perfect picture of what we need to understand to be free:

Balance comes from strength.

This is not just strength in a few select areas. Power doesn’t come from surging forward in growth in our favourite areas, or the ones that come easily to us. We are only truly free from the risk of collapse if we have a well rounded strength across all of the pillars in our life. My physio explained that managing the health of my back and my joints means developing strength in my core. She gave me exercises that work the muscles further inside and around the joint. These movements aren’t like the glamorous Hollywood ones. They don’t only work the superficial muscles that every one else can see. These exercises work the deepest inner muscles that support my frame. The workout is more intense, and more lasting, and has a greater effect than anything I have done before.

This year, let’s make Balance a priority in our lives. Let’s ensure that with every outward stride towards performance, power and achievement, there is a corresponding inner stride towards peace, wholeness and self care. Let’s give some of our precious time as a gift to ourselves, to ensure that we preserve and defend our ability to continue our generosity. This year can be the year that we become stronger at balancing giving with taking, chaos with peace, noise with quiet, fast with slow, spending with saving, talking with listening, searching with finding, inside with outside, outward with inward, work with rest, exhale with inhale.

Reflecting On The Truth We See


If we are to be defined by freedom, we have some cleaning house to do, so that we see a clean, powerful reflection of ourselves when we look into the mirror. Our mindset is everything. If we are to enjoy a freedom that is truly unstoppable, we need to see ourselves as the person who is defined by our passion, and this has to start with how we see ourselves. I say all the time, how we see changes what we see.

When we look in the mirror we need to see someone who is already embracing the new chapter they are in, and who is living up to their best selves, now. For us to be able to do that, and to keep going with that forever, we need to establish some truths that will act as a strong reliable foundation that will then serve as the launchpad of our lives. Let me help you to see what you should be looking for in the mirror.

Melbourne public speaker

We can choose what we see in the mirror

You are Change

Firstly, I want you to know that changing your old mindsets, beliefs and actions is something that actually comes naturally to you, because you are change. You are more than just an observer of change, or the driver of change, and you are certainly NOT the victim of change. You are actually change. Change is a defining aspect of your identity. It is who you are, and who you will continue to become.

Did you know that all of the cells in our body continue to live and function by dying and replacing themselves? There is a myth that our bodies regenerate themselves in seven year cycles, which is not true. Our stomach lining cells die and replace themselves every two days, our skin cells every two weeks, and our red blood cells every four months. Our physical bodies live and function by the very act of changing out old for new. I love that metaphor. When you look back over your life you know that this is what you have done to survive and function throughout it all. Old parts of you have died and new parts have come to replace them. Old thoughts and old views become new. This is how we live. So today, you have everything you need to follow your passion because YOU ARE CHANGE. This makes you Unstoppable.

You are Infinite

The only exception to these patterns of cell regeneration is in our brain cells. The cells in our brain never replace themselves. We are born with as many brain cells as we will ever have, and when they die, they die. So if you have a high impact bump that rattles your brain around inside your skull, the cells that die never come back. Or if you have a big night out on the town, and you drink some of your precious brain cells to death on the best Saturday night you have ever had, you never get those back either.

So Kerry Anne how can you expect me to believe that I am infinite if my brain cells are the only ones that die forever? Well, it’s because the brain cells actually do two remarkable things. Firstly, they continue to live after the body dies, for up to three days according to some studies. Secondly, there are developing theories that suggest our brain cells might be able to live forever. Recently scientists have been conducting experiments on rats where they attempt to transplant brain cells into new hosts. Not only have they been successful with these transplants and the transplanted brain cells have been accepted and function perfectly well in their new home, but the new brain cells can continue to live longer than they would have in their original home. If the transplanted brain cells find a home in a younger, healthier host, they can actually outlive their original owner. In theory, this means that brain cells could transplanted again and again to live forever.

I love this! This means that the cells in our brain, the operations centre of our bodies, reflects the reality that we are Infinite. These cycles of change happening though death and new life in our cells, and permanence happening from our brain, teach us universal truths about the importance of holding on and letting go. Surely then, if we can see in our metaphorical mirror that we ARE Change, and that we ARE Infinite, then that can allow us to believe this third truth:

You are Enough

There is nothing more that you need. You are adequate. You are beautiful. Gifted. Perfectly blessed. You have every asset gifted to you, and you possess now every single thing that you will ever need to be free.

This quest for ourselves is where freedom starts, because if we are successful in our quest, nothing can hold us back from our passions. When we know who we are, and when we are confident about that person, we run at our mission like a bull at a gate.  When we like who we are, and we see ourselves without destructive filters we are free to follow our deepest passions, with abandon.

2017 Freedom Goals


“The greater danger for most of us isn’t that our aim is too high and miss it, but that it is too low and we reach it.” 


At this time of year we have a sense of being bright eyed and bushy tailed, thankful that last year is over and overflowing with optimism about the promise of the year ahead.

Melbourne Professional Speaker

2017 is the year you taste freedom

In the past we have approached this turn of the new year with resolve. We have surveyed the landscape of our life, and we have taken stock of our work, our relationships, our health, our finances, our lifestyle. This time of year inspires us to reflect, and evaluate, and appraise.

But for some strange reason, some of us have used these things to measure the value of our lives … Indeed, we have drawn on these things to rate our very person. We have judged ourselves against an unforgiving, arbitrary standard. We have quantified the contribution we have made, and the progress we have gained so far. Our view during these times can easily become tainted with comparisons which create feelings of inadequacy, insecurity, deficiency, lack.

This year is different. This is not the time to figure out how you could do more, be more, have more. There is no goal or performance or achievement that will tell you the thing you need to celebrate most at this time of year. Well, what is worth celebrating then?

It is YOU!

In this coming year you will survey your life with eyes that nurture the spectacular person that you are. You will appreciate your loving heart, your generous spirit, your undying dedication, your relentless tenacity. You have come so far! You have done yourself proud. You have given your all. Now is the time to celebrate and pat yourself on the back.

And as you look forward to the wide blue yonder of 2017, do so with care. It’s time to do away with the rod of denial, perfectionism, regret and disapproval that you have made for your own back. Instead, embrace the possibilities of the new year. Search the depths of your pure, perfect centre. You never know what could happen if you muster up courage to release your power.

Oh, imagine the things that could erupt into the life you have today.

With so much to leave behind, and so much to look forward to, let’s take a minute all to ourselves. For just a sparkling moment, life is going to be all about you. This is your time of gratitude, reflection, aspiration, vision.

Close your eyes and open your heart.

Breathe …

Simply inhale a feeling of peaceful hope, contented anticipation, and the certainty of faith. Glimpse into your future. Dare to believe that 2017 is your year to shine.

In this instant you have the chance to set your mind for the year. This is not so much about setting goals, but rather fixing your gaze on the vision of the life you desire, and the magnificent person you will continue to unearth. Let us start this year with a solemn vow. Right now, you can make this pledge:

I declare that 2017 is my year of ______________

I will make it a priority to feel better this year. I will direct my thoughts and experiences to focus on these three feelings most of the time:

  1. ___________________
  2. ___________________
  3. ___________________

How I see determines what I see. In 2017 I will reframe the way I perceive adversity, set backs and failure. I will look for ways to grow in all things, but I will make these three areas my priority:

  1. __________________
  2. __________________
  3. __________________

This year I will be brutally honest with myself, and I will not permit old ways of thinking any longer. Up until now I have believed things that deep down, I know are not true. I used to believe these things, but I will do away with these lies and excuses in 2017:

  1. I am _________________________________
  2. The world is ____________________________
  3. My life is ______________________________

Now I will believe these things:

  1. I am _________________________________
  2. The world is ____________________________
  3. My life is ______________________________

I will not allow destructive mindsets to motivate me any longer. Now that I have done away with these old ways of thinking, I would like to make 2017 the year I have a go at:


I know that when I flow in love, passion and creativity I produce the best results in all areas. This year, I want that deep flow to create:



I welcome you with open arms. You are the year I have been preparing for my whole life. To you, I bring all of my skills, experience, insight, hopes, dreams and determination. I offer you all that I am, and everything that I have, in passionate pursuit of my purpose.



Why You Should Blow Off The New Year


I wonder how many goals are set at this time of year that should really have been left in the realm of “wishful thinking.” How many people are setting resolutions even now, hoping that this year their dreams really might come true. How many are enjoying the field day of their best intentions, even as I type up this blog? Forbes tells us the shocking fact that only 8% of people who set New Year’s Resolutions actually achieve them. At this time of year we get crazy! We try to conjure up success from nothing. We wistfully dream that this time will be different. This time, the magic wand will work. This is a miserable and defeated way to start the year.

Or is it? What if knowing that the odds are against us could actually work for us? This likelihood of failure could be the permission that we need to take all of that pressure off ourselves. We could start this year without wishing that we could be someone different overnight. We might even be able to let go of the idea that we need something else, something more, something new, something different? Perhaps our ambition for this coming year could be to accept how things are, and work from here? Maybe, knowing that we are unlikely to achieve our New Year’s wishes might be just the tip we needed to let us off the hook this time around.

Kerry Anne Nelson Professional Speaker

Lets celebrate how far we have come this New Years

Please understand. If you have read any of my writing, or spent even ten minutes with me in the flesh, you will know that I am the Queen of big dreams and crazy ambitions. I live to throw all of my eggs into the one basket of my most daring imaginations. I am a picture of drive and the master of motivation. I am a big thinker, a busy doer – I am an ideas woman who puts her money where her mouth is.

But I have solemn convictions. I believe that we should not come at the process of goal setting from a light-hearted, flippant, dare I suggest drunken state of mind. The turn of the New Year does not have a mystical power that makes our wishful thinking suddenly work. The words that you say, and the lofty heights that are set require a serious commitment. I am a believer in the importance of goal setting, but I am mindful of the power of this process. Setting goals is fraught with a couple of specific dangers that must be handled with caution.

  1. Our Self Respect Hinges On Reaching The Goal

You see, to set a goal is to establish a standard, and once it is set, it must be reached. This is vital. Because we draw confidence from the goal. Self-esteem. Self worth. Self respect. Our goals are the pivot point of how we see ourselves. If we fall short of the goal, or if we achieve it but then go back to our old ways, we undermine the pivotal trust we need to have in ourselves. Without this trust, we simply cannot be free. We can’t be truly liberated, powerful, passionate people who throw themselves into life with abandon if we know that we are the ones who gave up, or relapsed.

The first risk that comes with goals is in the effects of failure. Setting the goal is fine, healthy, productive, powerful. And I admit that I do set my own goals regularly and often. But achieving them is essential. Once the goal is set, there is no looking back. I hesitate before I set any goal. If I achieve it and make the success last, it is a powerful, transformational win. But if I don’t, the goal has done more damage than good. Blowing off the New Year’s resolution all together means that we don’t face the threat of losing our self respect. Let’s leave the goal setting for a time that we can give it the honour it deserves.

2. Setting A Goal Asks For More

At this time of year we can all become quite the reflective philosophers. We look around our lives and we consider our progress, significance, worth. We measure the value of our lives, the contribution we have made, and the progress we have gained so far. Our view during these times can easily become tainted with comparisons which create feelings of inadequacy, insecurity, deficiency, lack. This is a dangerous attitude to bring to any season of goal setting.

There is more to you than the shortcomings you see at New Years. You have come so far! You have done yourself proud. You have given your all. Now is the time to celebrate and pat yourself on the back. It is not time to figure out how you could do more, be more, have more. At least, not from a mindset that starts from a sense of personal deficit. There is no goal of performance or achievement that will tell you the thing you need to celebrate most at this time of the year. You! Let’s blow off that thinking this New Year’s. Instead, let’s embrace this:

You are already enough.

You are not your work. You are not your actions. You are not your achievements or your decisions. Who you are cannot be measured by the things you have done or the goals you have reached. You are more than these things. Your substance is richer, fuller, deeper. You are more than the work of your hands or the striving of your goals.

As we welcome the New Year in we bid farewell to the year that has past, and we embrace the year that lies ahead. Let’s do this with care. Let’s set our gaze on the year to come through eyes that embrace our own perfection. Let’s make it our aim to pursue change only from a place of Acceptance. Peace. Security. Wholeness.

If you are to set a goal at all, let it start with this pledge:

2017 I welcome you with open arms. This is the year that I accept I am already enough. I will act on the conviction that everything I need is already within me. With all that I am now, I will dream new dreams, face new challenges, pursue new directions, and follow my deepest passions. I am endlessly empowered and permanently liberated to grow, evolve and change through each new season. I will work hard to bring my best game to the opportunities afforded by each new day. I will be confident that there is nothing more that I need to do, earn or become. Nothing can make me more valuable or worthy than the person I am now.

Three Mirrors


We all dream of living a fulfilling life. Every one wants to be happy and healthy, enjoying success in their work and meaningful relationships with the people closest to them. Coming to know ourselves in fullness and truth is foundational to our ability to be successful in our lives. Understanding our strengths and preferences, our nature, our temperament, and our own unique needs provides the platform we need to launch into our personal significance. It is when we see ourselves as loved, and worthy of success, and connected in belonging to the people we care about, that we are truly free to pursue our deepest passions. Helen Keller put it perfectly:

What I am looking for is not out there. It is in me.

This quest for ourselves is where freedom starts, because if we are successful in this search, nothing can hold us back from our passions. Knowing how to meet our own intrinsic needs allows us to get on with the business of pursuing our purpose with unfettered passion. When we know who we are, and when we are confident about that person, we run at our mission like a bull at a gate. When we like who we are, and we see ourselves without destructive filters we are more free than the American dream.

Melbourne public speaker

How I see myself reflects my capacity for success, influence, and ultimately, love

What Is In The Mirror?

When we look into the mirror, what do we see? Over the course of my life I have had several experiences of reflecting on my self concept. Each one of these times speaks volumes about how I saw myself at the time. In retrospect I can see that how I perceived myself directly affected the opportunities and outcomes of my life.

The first mirror memory I have happened when I was thirteen years old. I’d just had yet another a massive fight with my stressed, working class parents in our over-crowded army home. After standing my ground for ages, I finally stormed off to my bedroom and slammed the door behind me. I don’t remember what the fight was about now, but I do remember catching a glimpse of myself in the mirror that hung to the left of the door, just above my dresser drawers. The anger inside me was a raging torrent of teen hormones, and the tears I had been trying to swallow back in pride were released the moment that door crashed shut. I stopped and looked at my crying self in the mirror, and it was surreal. I saw the resentment I had towards my life, and the defeat in my outlook. I saw someone who felt trapped and disempowered. My tears were those of a victim who could barely see out of them. I sat on my bed, and just cried. My dad opened my door and barked further at me, “What are you doing?”

“I’m crying.”

He didn’t know what to do with my candid response. It silenced the argument. He left. Even though I felt trapped in my family situation, I still stood my ground and owned my feelings and my reaction. I felt trapped in my emotions, but in my response I showed I was free.

The Mirror Showed My Reality In The World

My next significant mirror moment happened two decades later. I was thirty-three years old, and I was just back from a run. I had been slowly developing my fitness, diligently doing the evening jogs that helped me recover after losing my voice. Those runs were brutal. I was desperately overweight and the isolation of the voice strain injury had left me depressed, anxious, and broken. I saw my reflection in the mirror as I opened the glass shower door. How could this be? I had run for a good half an hour, but I was still the same size as before I left. I felt thinner. With all of those endorphins buzzing and my muscles zinging from the work out, I felt like an olympic athlete. Surely I should look like Beyonce by now?

But no. I was still this overweight person whose reality in the world was still pretty far away from the reality I was hoping to create. When I looked in the mirror that evening, I realised that my circumstances provided me with a limited view of the greater picture. The full truth was that I was already healthy and whole in my person, but my circumstances would take time to reflect that. When I looked into the mirror this time, I realised how I see myself on the inside will always become evident on the outside, if I just give it enough time.

The Mirror Reflects My Choices

The last significant mirror moment occurred  a couple of years ago, after my husband died. I was getting ready to go to work at the warehouse I used to share with him, and reached across the mirror to the shelf where my perfume lived, only to find that the bottle was just about empty. Now this might seem an ordinary event to you, but for me, it was pivotal. It might seem absurd, but I had never bought perfume before. As the oldest of five in a poor family, this sort of thing was considered an unobtainable luxury. Then, as Alec’s first lady, perfume was always gifted to me for Christmas and birthdays.

As I looked in the mirror, I had to decide how I saw myself. Would I see the oldest of five and mother of two who always put the needs of others first, and didn’t indulge in luxuries? Would I see the grieving widow whose greatest fear was that she would never be loved again? Or would I see myself as beloved? Worthy? Connected in belonging? And as I looked into the mirror I realised that the only view that suited me now was to believe that I was beautiful, and only I could give myself the gift of self love.

The next time you look in the mirror, take a closer look. Examine behind the reflection. Be transparent with yourself. What do you see? And promise me, that you will keep looking, and keep refining, and keep cleansing, until you see the truth. Because in the mirror is someone who is beautiful on the inside and out, valuable to connect with yourself and others, and worthy of all of the love you can give and receive. You are Infinite. You are everything. And you most certainly are enough.

Mirror Mirror On The Wall


It is always my pleasure to speak about Unstoppable Freedom. I love teaching people how to find and follow their passion, and to show them that they already have everything that they need to transform the landscape of their lives into something that reflects their innate purpose. When I share with my audiences, I remind them that my words will not make them free if they hear them, or even know them. Unstoppable Freedom only comes when we act.

Each of us want to connect. To love and be loved is our life’s highest calling. In our daily lives we are on a constant quest, searching for the place that we fit best. When we meet someone new, we conduct the obligatory “get-to-know-you chat.” We ask about them and tell stories about ourselves, and we begin to create a profile of who this new person is. What are they about? Where do they come from? What are they like? Where are they headed?

Now I am passionate in my love of humans and humanity. Give me all things ‘People’ and I am a happy camper. But even from this perspective, I do not necessarily see the human race through rose coloured glasses. Seriously, if you are going to really love humans, the only way to do this is warts and all. At the end of the day, our deep desire to connect may not always be about the high calling to selflessness, altruism and unconditional love. If we are brutally honest, we must admit that our own gain is one of our strongest motivators. Most, if not all, of our life choices are driven by the universal question: What’s in it for me?

This is true when we are connecting with people. Old friends, new friends, old enemies, new enemies. It’s all the same. Our relationships only work if we know exactly what we get out of what we put in. And what do we want more than anything else? To be valued. To be seen as significant. To be accepted and appreciated. When we connect with people, we are on the lookout for evidence that we matter. When we have those “get-to-know-you conversations”, we are really just doing yet another round of the same thing. We are investigating how they are like us. We are looking for ourselves.

Let’s see if you can see yourself in the highlights of my story. As you read through this list, why don’t you tick to see how many connection points we have? I want to spoil us both with the chance to find ourselves in our connection:

  • Leader: Oldest child in a large dependant family
  • Adventurer: Have always travelled and moved house a lot
  • Pioneer: Left home at a young vulnerable age
  • Conqueror: Terrified and overwhelmed teen mum
  • Battler: Divorced single mum of two fighting the odds
  • Romantic: Married again with the starry-eyed hope of having it all
  • Driver: Ambitious business owner pushing forward into growth
  • Teacher: Educator of people of all ages
  • Widow: Lost husband at thirty-seven to face a new world
  • Mother:  With two adult children now leaving the nest
  • Lover: Enjoying the delights of new love in rich new ways
  • Author: Writing blogs, stories, books, talks
  • Sharer: Of love and connection with those close to me
  • Dreamer: Optimistic about possibilities always. My future is bright because my outlook makes it so

As you read my highlights, you are looking for your own. Think back to the last time you watched a movie, read a book, chatted with a friend, worked on a project … in everything we look for ourselves. We search for our person. We endlessly seek acknowledgement of our identity.

Mirror, Mirror on the wall, who is the fairest of them all?

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The mirror reflects only what we are ready to see

The wistful romance of this fairy tale question resonates in all of us, because we have all asked ourselves a version of this question. We all want to be certain that we are beautiful, worthy, successful, accepted, happy. Too often, we act like the Queen who asked that question of the Mirror. We become insecure and threatened by those around us, as if the beauty of others has any impact at all on our own. She looked into a place that should have reflected her own perfect image. In reality, as the story goes, she was truly beautiful. But something went wrong … the way she saw her own beauty made it not enough. She was vain, but not content with who she actually was. She wasn’t satisfied with her beauty, so the reflection she saw in the mirror was marred by her own doubts, fear, insecurities, hurts, offence, worries.

I wonder about that day when the mirror told the Queen that it was Snow White who was the most beautiful … was this the day that the Queen’s downtrodden view of herself finally got the better of her? The mirror couldn’t tell the Queen that she was the fairest of them all, because the reflection of a mirror can only show us what we are able to see. The Queen’s shortcomings allowed her to believe that her own beauty was not enough. So the mirror couldn’t tell her any different.

We know that the Queen’s corrupted outlook was toxic. Her distorted view sent her on a quest for answers where they could never be found. Instead of seeing her own beauty, the Queen sought to destroy it in others. She was convinced that beauty must be somewhere ‘out there’. Hidden in the outside world. In someone else. And she hated that. The Queen shows us perfectly how not to be free.  In three easy steps she created her own demise:

  1. Refuse to be satisfied by your own beauty
  2. Compare yourself with others
  3. Seek to destroy the beauty in others, because you can’t see it in yourself

I wonder if Snow White really was the fairest of them all? Or was she simply the one who innocently accepted her own beauty, without question, shame or guilt. The mirror could tell the story of Snow White’s beauty, simply because Snow White accepted this as being true.

This metaphor of the mirror speaks volumes about our own quest for freedom. We search for ourselves because we all need to be truly free. To be free to love and be loved is our highest calling. Deep inside every one of us is the voice that directs us towards the fullest expression of our potential. To ensure that we arrive at this place of freedom, we must ensure that we have our eyes on what is real. We need to look only into our own perfect reflection. We must rid ourselves of the lenses that blind us and contort what we see. We must remove doubt to reveal our optimism. Rid ourselves of hurt to enjoy wholeness. Replace shame with confidence. Apathy with investment. Indifference with enthusiasm.  Hopelessness with hope. Confusion with clarity. We must boldly say, “No more!”

Loss Leaders


For all of us who have been in businesses, the loss leader is a valuable part of the retail industry. For those consumers who are stark raving mad for screaming ads that shout the latest super cheap sales that have you storming your local Westfield in droves, the loss leader is every dream come true. A vacuum cleaner for $49? YES! A pair of the latest shoes from your favourite brand for $29? YES PLEASE! The DVD box set of Gilmore Girls for $39 to celebrate their new season release? I AM IN!!

Melbourne based professional speaker

The loss leader only brings benefit when it is transformed into something more profitable.

The loss leader gets us going. It sets our heart racing for the retail thrill, our feet running to the local outlet, and our credit cards tap, tap, tapping our way to instant gratification. The loss leader demands fast attention and instant action. It requires a snap, impulse decision where the time that lapses between the advertisement and the purchase is so lightning fast that it could only be seen in the grainy pixels of the security footage in slow-mo.

If the loss leader does its job properly, we end up buying the advertised product with the speed of a thousand gazelles. But that is not all. On the way to the must-have product we see other items. Then, as we make our way to the retail altar also known as the counter, we see more. And then we see more again as we stand in line behind five other comrades whose mouths are watering just a tiny bit more than ours. Shiny items. New items. Items that are bigger and better and even more desirable than the insane bargain we already have in our hot little hands. And we imagine owning that extra item too. And we picture ourselves picking it up and giving it a home at our home. And we calculate the saving we have made on the loss leader product. And we justify the additional purchase. And with that, the deed is done. The loss leader purchase is extended. It is transformed into an investment that we were simply destined to have. We are convinced in our hearts that the loss leader brought us to the pathway that was always meant to be.

The loss leader only works for the business owner because it transforms the profit lost in that first sale into profit gained from the additional items we buy. if the business was only to sell the loss leader, without turning it into something of worth, the business would not last very long. Sustaining the losses from the sale of the loss leader can only be done for so long. If the loss is not turned into profit, the business would eventually fold.

I hope the metaphor is already emerging for you here. Losses offer no profit or gain in themselves. By definition, they leave us empty handed. They bring us nothing. They only detract from our lives. Losses hurt. They cost us something real, tangible, important. Sometimes that price is high. Losses can be expensive. The price can be exorbitant. Operating only in the loss without finding a way to make it profitable is simply unsustainable.

I like to think of the losses in my life as functioning like a loss leader. On their own they are costly. They make us pay a price in our time, our emotions, our relationships, our career, our health, sometimes even our sanity. In themselves, losses make our life unsustainable. If all we had was the loss, we would not be able to continue. If we stopped the process of our life at the loss leader, we would all have to shut up shop.

But the direct cost of the loss never reflects its greater purpose, and certainly doesn’t highlight its worth. The loss leader works when it is used as the first part of a bigger strategy. It is only when the loss initiates a sequence of attracting profit that its full value is realised. The loss opens opportunities for gain that could not come any other way. Engaging in the loss, feeling its pain, embracing the price tag allows us to accept that it is essential to us. This is the approach we can adopt to maximise the benefits of any loss in our lives.

I have put this outlook to work for me through countless seasons of loss over my life. On the days where I feel the sting of the loss, I remind myself that I will find a way to strategically transform the loss to bring gain. When the price of the loss pinches me hard, I encourage myself that this cost can become an investment into a different outcome. In this way, I reframe my concept of loss and see it as an opportunity to invest into a profitable future that I create. I am convinced that the loss actually gives us the chance to make unique, strategic, deliberate gains. The benefits of the loss come when we see it as the fist step in a bigger, more positive sequence.

And somewhere amidst this process of transforming loss into gain, I have found that the real magic happens … In reframing my perspective on life, I reframe my concept of myself. I see myself as the loss leader, because I am the one who leads the loss with clarity of purpose and precision focus. I am the captain of the ship and the driver of my destiny. I am the one who transforms every adversity into gain. I am the strategic leader of the loss, and my choices turn the price of the loss into an investment into gain.

I am not alone in this. Countless inspirational heroes across cultures and throughout time show us again and again that adversity can lead to triumph. Hardship can give rise to success. The battle can end in victory. So Loss Leaders, onward and upward! The investment will return.


Love Letter


I went for a walk today. It was the first walk I have had in a while. Life is busy. I work long and hard through days that sometimes feel like they are getting shorter. I love it all though because I am passionate about my work. I am fuelled by a sense of mission which drives everything I do, and everything I have, towards the fulfilment of my purpose. I do get tired, I admit … but I never grow weary of this mission. It is an honour and privilege that I appreciate every single day. What I do is directly connected to my Infinite Self.

Now I am home from my walk, and I have pulled my laptop out. I am sitting on the small balcony that connects my bedroom to the view of my little street. It is not glamorous, but it does make me feel special. It is a private little space that I use to press the pause button on my life. From my spot here I reflect on life. I think about me, and I think about you too. Right now, I am bursting! For the past hour and a half I have been consumed by thoughts that were ready to explode out of me … here is what I am compelled to share with you today:

You are spectacular. There is no-one like you in the entire world. No-one has ever been like you, nor will there ever be. No one could take your place. You are the only one of your kind. You are more precious than rare. You are a one-off. A singular, never-to-be-seen-again treasure. You are perfectly unique and especially distinctive.

Kerry Anne Nelson Professional Speaker

Your beauty cannot be equalled or surpassed. It is beyond compare.

You are priceless.

You are worthy.

You are enough.

You are everything.


You have a heart of gold that is made full as it flows in love to your people. You have a unique compassion, a sharp insight, a profound understanding, an endless investment. You care deeply about those around you, giving selflessly and without question to meet the needs of those you love. You are a bastion of love, a defender of justice, an advocate for those who can’t defend themselves. You have so much to offer. Safety. Acceptance. Warmth. Strength. Hope. Empathy. Encouragement. Support. Courage. Momentum. Promise.

The gifts that you have for the world will leave a lasting impact, and you are the only one who can bring them. Only you can walk the steps of your journey, combining moments of opportunity with your inimitable offering to enhance your world. You make everything better simply by doing your part. You make the most of every opportunity that comes your way, because you exist to make a difference.

Sometimes your involvement feels small, and it seems to dissolve away quickly. Other times the ripples of your influence spread far and wide, creating changes that last. In it all, you have an effect on the world that can only be made by you. Only you are able to steer your course. You make decisions, connect people, resist wrongs, keep trying, win battles, maximise opportunities. In your powerful autonomy you do the big things and the little things that only you can do. 

Champion the cause of the incredible human being you see in the mirror. Care for them with fondness, compassion, grace. Nurture them with tenderness, optimism, hope. Protect them with strength, pride, importance. Nourish them with rest, health, well-being. Expand them with learning, risks, action. That person in the mirror is your greatest asset, your most valuable prize, your most precious resource. They are the victor of your battle and the hero of your story. They make it all happen. They make it all worth it.

And now, I would love you and I to make ourselves a cup of tea. Let’s just linger here and inhale the significance of the moment we have just shared, together …